36 Weeks and 1 Day

36 weeks and 1 day my baby boy. 36 weeks of ovarian cyst complications and ruptures. 36 weeks of platelet counts and immune system checks. 36 weeks worth of mornings and evenings spent trying to keep anything down. It has been 36 weeks of pain management, dehydration struggles, countless trips to the specialist, my having lost too much weight, emergency room trips, a pre-term labor scare and all the other emotional ups and downs of high risk pregnancy that I don’t talk about. All that on top of the normal pregnancy symptoms, body changes, challenges, birthing classes, benchmark milestones, social anxiety, constant sensory overload and just regular good ol’ life. I can’t say it has been easy, or even beautiful. BUT I can say that it has all been worth it (and I’d happily do it all over again) just to know you are developing perfectly with no causes for concern. I was told that genetically speaking, kids may never be an option for me. I’ve been told I’m unfit for motherhood given my spectrum diagnosis. I’ve fought with and had to overcome my insecurities of inadequacy fueled by a history of abuse and being bullied. So, you are a dream come true. A dream I didn’t realize I even had until your daddy came along to turn my life and me upside down. I have never felt more loved in my life. I have never been more excited (or scared) for my future. We love you so very much, and we want you in our arms! We are ready, eager and awaiting your arrival! Us, and many many others. Can’t wait to meet you on the flip side my tiny man!

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