Could I Be a Mom?

Chandler and I have decided that we’re ready to be parents. Now that we’re here, my mind has begun doing what it does best: cycling through all the pro’s and the con’s – except, not in being a parent, but rather what being a parent who is on the Spectrum will entail.

A geneticist told me that as an Autistic, I risk a 15% chance of having a child who will also be Autistic. That’s 10% greater than the average Neurotypical who has a 5% chance. I know that if my child develops Autism, there will be no one better than me who could just “get it” – regardless of how different our experiences might be. However, I worry about the strain that will cause on all of us.

With just the two of us right now, should my environment at home become a strain, adjustments can be made easily to relieve some, if not all, of my sensory overstimulation. Routines, formulas and coping skills would all have to change, be adapted to motherhood – a task I’m up for, but the adjustment period concerns me. What if I lock up because of overstimulation – and my child is hurt as a result?

I have lots of things looping in my head, but what I’ve realized is this: I don’t really have anyone to talk to from a spectrum point-of-view. I’m hoping to connect with a mother who is herself on the spectrum. I’d love to hear what the reality of motherhood is for you, how you prepared, how you adapted, and how you executed your function when dealing with sensory overstimulation, hyperfocus, and societal preconceived stereotypes that Autist’s can’t be mothers?

6 comments

  1. In case my previous comment gets labeled as spam, I’ve repeated it below without the links.

    I recommend you do a search on “motherhood autistic parenting” using the Autistic blogs search engine. You’d get numerous results including Asperger’s and Motherhood | Musings of an Aspie, Autistic Women, Pregnancy and Motherhood – Lana Grant – Spectrum Women, and Autistic mothering – Paula Sanchez.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dena Gassner, founder and director of a New York-based advocacy organization called the Center for Understanding, says, “When parents know they are autistic and they embrace their identity, they can be more intuitive and strength-driven in understanding their child’s needs in a way that may be enhanced over the capacities of non-autistic parents.”

    And from that strength lovely things [your baby] can grow!

    Liked by 2 people

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